Delivery

it's been 2 weeks since i have been in delivery and i have no idea why i have been putting off writing this section of the blog. i think that there was too much going on in my head and i ended up talking to my mom about it so it wasn't so pressing to write about. ok let me go back and share a few feelings....

delivery.....

sigh....

was it what i expected?...... no, it wasn't. it was way more messy than i thought. they tell you it's messy but till you see it, you have no clue. there is absolutely no place for modesty. there is constantly something draining from the woman, be it blood or liquor (the water around the infant... that is what they refer to when they say her waters break, spontaneous rupture of membranes). i mean seriously, it was just messy. and i felt a bit icky watching these women constantly getting checked vaginally. i can understand how women who have been molested do not want anyone touching them and examining them. it really felt and looked like molestation. even though it is absolutely necessary, and there is no other way to learn it but to do it, it just wasn't an easy thing to get used to.

did i feel the elation?.... not when seeing my first one. it was interesting. it happened quickly. the babies are all purple when they just come out and the mothers and fathers feel elation and it's beautiful to see it on their faces, but for me it was a bit more clinical cause i was going over in my head what i had been taught. it is a beautiful thing to share. i do think that it would grow old to an extent as the doctor. and there is so much more to the training of obs and gynae for the doctors. they are essentially learning 2 specialties and both of them have a surgery component. so many things to think about and always have in the back of your mind when treating people.

i did feel elation with one woman though, i jumped and almost had tears, cause she was so happy that she was able to deliver vaginally after she had an emergency cesarean in her first pregnancy. that was on one hand , and then the other was the slight revulsion at seeing her given an episiotomy and vacuum birth. so there was that elation, then i had to go all clinical to lean, really watch the repair of the episiotomy.

i feel i was very lucky in that everyday that i was there, in the limited time i was there, i got to see a delivery. will i specialize in this?.....who knows? i like it so far. training is a bit long, 6 years post internship and RMO1 but hey this might be what i am called to do. i have a bit of senioritis. having trouble concentrating on the vast majority of work, but the aim is to nip it in the bud this week, which is week 5. i have 4 more weeks of this rotation, exams and OSCE at the end of that, so lots of studying to do. i need to get work done before my boss gets back and wants me to come into work, which is a task to do at the end of a very long day. to go in after hospital means that i don't leave till 7 sometimes 8. it sucks, and tires me out even more, so that i can't do any work when i go home. not to mention the early getting to hospital, which is 1 hr away, so i have to be up sometimes at 4:30..... lawd mi tiad.

neways.... thats my delivery spiel with a bit extra added in.......