May it never be me

so its week 6 in psych and i've started in forensic psychology. these are the patients that have been found not guilty for reasons of mental illness. i learned today that even though some people think that being found not guilty by reason of mental illness is getting off, it really isn't. many times people end up spending more time incarcerated than they would if they were found guilty and sent to jail. cause these people aren't released until they are pretty much completely better and not a danger to the public. that means that some never leave and that for others it takes years upon years. there is a stepwise process of leave that they have to go through supervised and unsupervised, ground and off ground, overnight and weekly leave. it is crazy and there is nothing to say that when the doctors apply to the tribunal that they will get it. even if the tribunal recommends it as well, that means nothing as it is ultimately up to the minister of health to approve it and he can refuse without explanation.

i met and heard stories today of people who while psychotic either murdered, stabbed or hurt people. when they start to get better, they also get back their insight and they are so remorseful about what they did. they then become suicide risks and get so depressed as expected. i mean who wouldn't. can u imagine if u were ill and and heard voices telling u to kill ur mother cause she is the devil and u believed the voice. and so killed her. and then u are put on meds and start to get better and u realize that u killed ur own mother? i don't know if i would want to live either. i felt so bad for some of them. in this place though, the conditions aren't bad, they are actually pretty comfortable, with everything set up for the patients to be rehabilitated, and eventually to leave. but the reality is that they are incarcerated and unable to be with their families and children. so yea......

other than that, i have soooo much coming up. conference in 2 weeks, the compassion project to be launched then as well. not to mention Psych term to finish up, long case and exam as well as the rest of the other cases to do. at least i have done EBM already and the majority of my cases. i'm ok, just very tired, and will be for 3 more weeks. just hang in there, that is the key.....:)