Rough...

this is the 4th day of a really tiring week of orientation. 8 hours of lectures and chats about the hospital a day. some quite boring, others quite helpful. i'm not even gonna mention how i feel about this whole internship thing. my mood right now is too disappointed for that. i had to turn down a casting today, worth $10,000 and a trip to Kuala Lumpur. i just couldn't make the casting with the other stuff for orientation. as my friend Cameron said, here is the difficult thing, deciding between careers. it was so hard to let it go, and i must say that i haven't completely yet. after all it just happened today. it always seems that when the big jobs come, those are the ones i can never make. i had to do this same thing to a job that was $30,000 and a trip to Europe. this one was a serious possibility. it looked like i was one of the major contenders. sigh..... man, that is disappointing. i wanted it, for the experience, the money and to see Kuala Lumpur. it would have been great. and for once i could have made the time for the 3 days, but i can't even get to the casting....lol... i'm so gonna have to pray about this one so the Lord can help me let it go, or he can work it out....lol... he has been good today though. he provided so that i could pay my rent and my bills. he is good and i give him praise for that. i gotta give praise and props in the good times and the disappointing times......ahhhhh well